Drowning in Despair

I wrote this a while ago, I can't necessary remember the time frame. But I always seem to come back to this feeling. So I decided to share it with you, I hope you can take comfort in knowing you aren't alone. Your feelings are always valid.

Love,

Diana

..................

I'm drowning in my own despair

I am guilty

At times I welcome the pain when I shouldn't

I embrace it like an old friend

Waiting for me with open arms,

An embrace I know I shouldn't crave

But I do.

It holds on tight, like a vise

I simply smile

because its so familiar

so un-alarming

I welcome the screams that leave my mouth

that don't seem like mine

For it quiets me

Traps me in darkness

So no one can help.

Isn't it better to feel pain than nothing at all?

I'm drowning

But I've never felt more alive.

-Diana